Posts Tagged ‘dentists


Why I hate dentists

I have previously written here about my issues with dentistry. Some have said this is irrational. However, yesterday every ill-feeling I hold towards dentists was validated. After months of returning to my local gob-doctor for a filling an then a cleaning and then another filling as another lump fell out of the tooth that was filled on the first day, I was sent to Cork to have two wisdom teeth removed. Actually, I was supposed to get only one removed, but when I got there I was told the one against might as be taken out as well, as it could cause trouble later without the other one to restrict it. I agreed, assuming he knew what he was talking about. But as he yanked at my jaw with what I think was a pliers, it seemed to me quite odd that a dentist would want to remove a tooth that was perfectly healthy.

As for the bad tooth, it was quite literally at a 45 degree angle in my gob. I had known this for about nine years, as the prick who gave me my first filling (and kick-started my distain for his profession) told me. He did advise me then to get it removed. Actually he wanted me to get all four wisdom teeth removed, and made an appointment for me for the guy in Cork. I didn’t go. Call me myopic, but didn’t want some quack pulling out parts of my body that weren’t really causing me any problems.

Well, this time around I was practically blackmailed into it. Apparently the bendy tooth has caused a cavity in the one next to it, any my dentist said he wouldn’t be able to fix it properly until the bendy tooth was removed. And so I found myself in Cork yesterday with this gobshite pulling at my jaw – similar to how a carpenter might pull out a bent nail, my chest serving as a handy work-shelf, and the nurse leaning on my shoulder the one leans against a bar. In addition to this, the machines he stuck in my mouth made the freakiest noises I could imagine. My dad has an electric wood-planer that makes the exact same noise.

And for what? I’m now fast becoming addicted to pain killers. My jaw has swelled up to Vito Corleone proportions, but only on one side; I look like Popeye. There’s a tingling sensation on the tip of my tongue that I’m starting to fear is permanent. On top of this, I’m being tormented by a rusty taste of dried blood in my mouth. All this to remove one tooth that was fine and another that as of Monday caused me no discomfort whatsoever. On reflection I’m lucky I ignored them nine year back. He might have taken away half my lower mandible. I just wish I had the nerve to ignore them this time. Ok, it’s all for my own good. In the long term I’ll thank them. But knowing this offers very limited comfort right now. I know I’m being unfair, but truly I hate dentists.



It looks like I’m going to have to give the auld dentist a wee visit, which is not a though that’s amusing me. I hate dentists. It’s been about eight years since I last had me teeth looked at, and the last time before that I was in primary school. I know we’re supposed to go every six month, but to me this sounds like snake oil dentists have collectively dreamt up to peddle money out of us.

Maybe I’m just blessed with unusually good teeth. They’re fairly straight and cavity free, despite my shunning of gob-doctors. I’ve amassed just one filling in my time, which I think is pretty good for a man in his late twenties. Of course even the most disciplined platoon can be let down by a Pvt Doberman, and even my heavenly gob is cursed with one molar that’s rotting away on itself. Interestingly, it’s the same one that got that filling eight years previous. It’s sort of collapsing around the filling, which isn’t pleasant. Just last night I was trying to pick away a bit of food that was stuck in there (as it tends to do) when I managed to pull out another piece of tooth. Not a good sign.

So it’s off to the toothologist with me. Oh, joy. The reason I’m apprehensive about this largely due to my last encounter with the fancy chair. In addition to doing an evidently shitty job, he also messed up the local anaesthetic while doing it. I don’t know if he missed the nerve or got the concoction wrong or what, but when he was cleaning out the cavity (and what kind of procedure called “cleaning” requires a drill) it hurt. I’m not being squeamish about it, it hurt in a way nothing in a free country should hurt. I didn’t say anything because I assumed it was supposed to be that bad, but when I went in a few days later to get the job finished it didn’t hurt nearly so much. Obviously he did something he didn’t do the first day. The cunt.

So this is what is making me nervous about going again. Maybe I’m being silly but I think that’s a right I’ve earned. Even if it turns out to be completely pain free, I’m still not sure how I’m supposed to pay for it. Never mind, it’ll figure itself out. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this.